6am wake up
2pm DAW pick up to PICC
12mn still working
2am still working
3am went to PICC
5:30 am arrival at PICC
7am DAPAT aalis na
1pm kami umalis
3pm dumating sa LB
Took a nap for 10 mins ❤ ohh
go to church
around 7-8pm(?) go back to PICC but sobrang traffic so
around 1 am we arrived sa PICC
around 3am, body demanded rest, I slept sa carpet. It was comfy and it was an hour. oh no.
Eyes were not ready yet, it was blur for more than 15 mins.
Body still demanded rest, I slept again sa carpet, now shorter time.
We should be finished by 7am
we did not finish by 7am
Went back to LB around 8am
arrived sa may Jollibee around 10:30am. ‘Di pa nakakatapak sa apartment
went back to PICC
arived at 1pm
stayed there ’till around 10 pm
Went back to LB, arrived at around 1:30am ng Tuesday
I woke up 2 pm. I thought it was Wednesday.
Worked the next day (Wednesday)
Then Surprise surprise, pupunta ulit kaming PICC, so we went to PICC around 7:30 pm
forgot what time we arrived, let’s just say 10pm
stayed there ’till around 1:30am (Thursday), uwi
Arrived at LB at around 5am
Woke up at 11am
SO. MUCH. G R A C E
Thank you Jesus.
Omg ngayon ko lang nalaman na ang ibig sabihin pala ng CMSCOP12 ay The Twelfth Session of the Conference of the Parties to the Convention on the Conservation of Migratory Species of Wild Animals. Ooh
And God saw that it was good…
And God saw that it was good…
And God saw that it was good…
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone…”
So if you’re still alone, it’s God, in all His sovereignty, who thought that it is still good for you to be alone 🙂
I never liked waking up alone.
Taking your own life. Interesting expression. Taking it from who? Once it’s over it’s not you who will miss it. Your own death, is something that happens to everybody else. Your life is not your own. Keep your hands off it.
But you can stop that. Now. With just a little heart felt letter, or a warm hug, or a surprise kiss, or a sandwich, or a genuine smile, or a long walk, or a simple "sorry". Stop killing yourself with smothered love.
I was sleeping alone (about to sleep? Basta there is sleep involved) the Sunday you chatted me that you said you were thinking about going to LB and celebrating your birthday with me. I was sleeping not only because I was sleepy but because sleeping has been the easiest and most effortless escape to my restless mind. And yes, I had been sleeeping a lot. But you know, in the middle of my sleep, (like when I’m na aalimpungatan something like that) a thought came to my mind that became that small ignition of light to my very dark, lifeless, and closed <fresh grad> world:
“she is loving me like how Jesus loves me.”
Despite me being the complete mess I was for the past few weeks, you’re still there. You have always been there. And even if our plans did not push thru today (because it’s Sept. 1 na, yesterday) the thought that of all the people you could have celebrated your birthday with, you choose me –a human being that is in her worst state. She has been so scattered but would still like to be with her anyway. (oh this has so many fragments don’t know how to fix them anymore) it really means a lot to me. (Is my grammar correct there were too many past present perfect whatever tenses I used I just feel like its right??? )
Then I began to feel again. I have been numb for so long that crying makes me happy because I finally felt something but sad because crying is supposed to be sad???Anyway,
Not just feel, but feel God’s love again. As I have said in my message to you before, God has used you to be that channel of light. Might have been the only light I unconsiously allowed to.
Thank you for always being my constant. A constant reflection of God’s love when I can’t (and sometimes don’t want [I’m stupid u see])to feel it.
A constant pretty human journal where I can say even the most embarassing things with the knowledge and trust that I know my humiliations are safe and.. funny???
A run to person that I trust that I am not abala to her. And I can tell my poop success stroies anytime. Hi hi
A constant person that I trust that trusts me. Trusts me with her poop stories and her irritations and small and big stories and her heart. I like that. That someone trusts me. And someone trust my love that she is never an abala because she never is. And she can always talk to me (and also calm me down) in my I-hate-all-humans-leave-me-alone-I-don’t-like-you moments.
Thank you for meing my constant cheerleader and supporter when I want to do something impulsive (but not destructive and deadly) but am just waiting (and wanting) for that onting push and you give me that push!!! (Which explains my curly hair hihi and some other impulsive decisions I don’t regret)
Thank you because I dont feel stupid when I’m talking to you even if I know I ask stupid questions
Thank you because we can talk about 10 topics all at the same time and it’s so normal and we can follow it and also being my grammar corrector and proofreader!!!
Thank you for correcting me!!! I like that. Don’t ever feel restrained to do that I welcome it!!
I’m so happy you exist!!!
You inspire me to love people like how Jesus loves me because I feel that love in you. In your constant genuine acts of service everytime– in your small and big acts. I will do that also to people!!!
So my point is, HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUU!!!! You are one of the rare people that makes me want to be honest :3 I know people in your sphere of influence are so blessed, they get to experience a slice of heaven!!!
I thank God for you everytime!!! I pray that God will bless you with wisdom!!! And also rest :3 and that you be surrounded with people that loves God that inturn loves you genuinely and corrects you lovingly. And that you’ll have a more intimate relationship with Him. Lacking in nothing. :3 NIBAYUUUU!!! ❤
Here is a very enlightening picture of you care of Allan